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Where’s the weeping bald eagle clutching the Constitution?Ġ:17: Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to stop grooving.Ġ:21: Why yes, that is a grenade on his microphone stand.Ġ:25: He looks like James Franco’s slower cousin, Frank Franco.Ġ:29: Mmmm that’s some good low-def stock footage.Ġ:32: Seriously, they couldn’t find a shot of the Statue of Liberty taken any time within the past 2 decades?Ġ:39: See, they had no problem wandering over to a construction site for this shot of the flag.Ġ:44: They’re using a clip shot in the aftermath of 9/11.Ġ:45: THEY’RE USING A CLIP SHOT IN THE AFTERMATH OF 9/11!Ġ:51: If they try to sell us commemorative 9/11 coins, I’m going to throw a steaming apple pie in each one of their faces.ġ:01: I… I don’t think I can handle this exploitation.ġ:06: On second thought, I’ll take the real footage over this masturbatory studio nonsense.ġ:14: Pretty sure all of these soldiers who fought for the country didn’t sign up to be in a butt rock music video.ġ:20: This is the exact moment hundreds of NASCAR fans and drivers died inside.ġ:26: The Bill Of Rights does not protect that facial hair.ġ:38: Now we’re getting to a whole new level of creepy.ġ:43: Are we going to get shots of showers in military barracks next?ġ:49: This one I don’t get. This video must be so action-packed that they don’t have time for things like words.Ġ:06: Nothing more American than out-of-place bass.Ġ:09: God bless Jesus… uh, I mean America.Ġ:14: I don’t believe that’s their actual studio. Let’s give “America’s Most Patriotic Band” a chance to show us what the home of the deep-fried Twinkie is all about.Ġ:01: The title was up for less than a second. Maybe they were just so exhausted from loving America earlier in the day that they just couldn’t love America for a second time. Hey, sometimes bands have off performances.
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You know you’ve fucked up when your version angers and/or amuses NASCAR drivers and fans. These anti-immigrant, gun-worshipping flag bangers may best be known for butchering the national anthem at a NASCAR event. While most of these bands and country musicians with their stupid hats blend together, there’s one patriotic band rising to the top of the red, white, and blue crap heap: Madison Rising. Whatever it takes to drown out the country’s sorrows and fears, amirite? Whether it’s at the beach, a sporting event, a festival or just in a friend’s backyard, thoroughly mediocre rock music about America will be played at an annoying volume. Another constant of the 4 th of July celebration is crappy patriotic butt rock. It’s the 4 th of July so that means Americans doing what America does best: getting drunk on cheap beer, wearing too little clothing, and blowing stuff up.